Category Archives: Screenshots

About as Relevant as Carson Daly…

… But still fun nonetheless. Finally, a tauren-sized mount!

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This Camel is Not Feeling My Vibes

Trying to finish up some Glory of the Cataclysm Hero achievements, I couldn’t help but notice that my druid looked like an absolute idiot on a camel.

Curing Altoholism

I used to be an altoholic.

I had all the early warning signs in childhood — I got sick of my toys easily, followed my parents around the house screaming, “I’M BORED!”, and would come home from my first ballet class claiming that actually, my calling was soccer (and then volleyball and then crew and then cheerleading and then why hadn’t they let me stick with ballet? I could have been selling out The Nutcracker by now.). The usual.

So it was no surprise that when I started playing WoW, I had the same wavering commitment towards my characters. In Vanilla, having two level-capped characters was almost unheard of due to the relatively daunting time it took to even get one to level 60, so most of my alts stayed in the 20-40 range for the majority of the game. I liked trying out different classes, so much so that often times it was difficult to figure out who my “main” was — the one who was the highest level? The one I spent the most time playing? The one I enjoyed the most? I switched both mains and mainly-played-alts every expansion, unsure of what class I even had the most fun playing.

And then I rolled a druid and it became clear that no other class would ever compare.

On other characters, I miss being able to do stealth runs. I miss hopping out of the water in the middle of nowhere, popping into flight form, and bouncing away. I miss sprinting to where I’m supposed to be when something trivial distracts me. I miss knowing that if I want to, I can tank, heal, melee DPS or ranged DPS with just a respec (and an obnoxious gear grind, but still). I miss the mechanics of the class because they all click with me (on my warlock, I’m just like, “I don’t even” whenever a boss is pulled and I have to figure out which ability to press first; on my mage, I Arcane Blast with one hand and flip through a magazine with the other; on my holy paladin I wonder if I should use that cooldown now or wait or heal through it or… oh look, the boss is dead, didn’t use my cooldowns at all, fantastic). I’m fairly confident that for as long as I play, I’ll be playing my druid and mostly nothing else.

… Those monks look kind of interesting though, don’t they?

Healing Mushrooms: Why, Earthmother, Why?

One thing that’s always made me want to die a little about resto druids is our lack of damage mitigation and burst reactive healing. While I think being a preventative healer is interesting, I love playing resto, and I think glyphed Swiftmend is a great spell, topping a player off in a pinch can often be a very anxiety ridden activity.

Every expansion, I cross my fingers and hope for a big, fast heal with a medium cooldown (25 seconds or so) that reduces damage on the target by x amount for x seconds, or sticks a new HoT on the target for x seconds for x amount of the healed amount. I became convinced that in MoP, my prayers would be heard. Maybe we wouldn’t get the big, fast heal. Maybe Gift of the Earthmother would become an actual gift — when activated, the target would take 40% less damage for 5 seconds. That would actually be worth writing a thank-you note for.

I know. I’m dreaming. But druids need something, so when I first started reading about Healing Mushrooms, I was 50% excited and 50% skeptical. Now I’m about 90% skeptical.

If you’ve played a moonkin, you know the feeling of elation of entering solar eclipse and tossing your mushrooms down pre-pull and get ready to see a screen of satisfying numbers. You also know the feeling of dread when you realize your dopey tank is, for no apparent reason, dragging the mobs just out of their radius. That’s fine. You’ll just set up once mo– IS HE MOVING AGAIN?

When you consider this and the priest Lightwell ability — the spell that launched a thousand macros begging group members to please click it in order to not die — healing mushrooms quickly begin to look like a loveless marriage of the two most annoying variables in the game: positioning/movement and relying on other people to make good choices.

Sure — for forced stacked fights or fights that have absolute positioning requirements, I foresee healing mushrooms being pretty powerful — so powerful, in fact, that there’s little doubt in my mind that they’ll see at least one nerf after they go live. But with an unforgiving 8 yard radius and a “some assembly required” set-up, a situational ability with a high chance of error looks like a headache instead of an answer to our problems.

But who knows? I’ve been wrong before.

Farming in Deepholm, or Why My Characters Are Always Broke

Sometimes I wish that “the Lazy” was an actual achievement title. It would be a multi-parter — you’d have to win 100 battlegrounds without contributing anything substantial (no bases defended or assaulted, no flag returns, certainly no killing blows), defeat the end boss of a raid while either being disconnected or dead for more than 80% of the fight, ensure that the majority of your /played was amassed in your capital city, and of course have two maxed professions but make no effort towards using these professions for at least a full calendar year.

My druid’s professions of choice are herbalism and inscription. Herbalism as a tauren druid literally couldn’t be any easier, and yet this is how all of my “farming sessions” go:

Stage One: The stage in which I decide I probably won’t be able to afford gemming and enchanting any possible upgrades this week unless I, you know, find a way to make gold.

Stage Two: The stage in which I decide to farm whichever herbs are ripping players off by the largest margin at the moment.

Stage Three: The stage in which I whisper everyone I know online some variation of, “Ughhhhh, I have to go farm herbs.” and then wait for their sympathetic responses.

Note that we’re already at stage three and I haven’t even done anything yet.

Stage Four: The stage in which I port to the necessary zone and make my first circuit.

Stage Five: The stage in which I can’t collect my herb faster than I facepull the mob next to it, so I opt to fly away.

Stage Six (optional): The stage in which I spend more time screenshotting myself with attractive backdrops than I do actually farming anything.

Stage Seven: The stage in which I decide two stacks is enough and promptly hearth.

 

Fashion Woes: My Guild Tabard Doesn’t Match My Transmog

As you can see by his unwavering commitment to a staring contest with the bar shelving unit, not even the tipsy orc gentleman beside me cares to admire my shapely physique when it’s shrouded in this primary color aesthetic crime. I’m all for guild pride, but what exactly am I “representing” here? Blindness?

Hopefully I’ll be exalted soon.